Monday, October 13, 2008

Reading Glasses, Pimples, and Curly Hair

Okay, I know a lot of people will say, "You should at least be glad that you didn't have to wear glasses in your teens!" But, that's what makes it that much more unfair. Why couldn't I go through life never needing glasses if I started that way? It makes it much harder to remember them if you didn't always need them. And if I had needed them as a teen, I probably would have gotten contacts. But you really can't get your first pair of contacts when you're beyond middle-aged, can you? And do you know that there are times I have had to have Niel read a menu to me because I forgot my glasses? What's fair about that? And don't get me started on how hard it is to read labels in the grocery store.

And, why do I still get random pimples when I am fifty years old? Shouldn't I be completely pimple free if I have to use reading glasses? Shouldn't there be a trade-off here?

Which (somehow) brings me to curly hair... As a child of the 70's, I was totally out of style. While the boys worshiped Marsha Brady's smooth, silken waterfall of hair, I was stuck with wavy, wavy, wavy. I remember once going to get my hair trimmed and trying to describe the angle of Marsha's hair; but lacking in communication skills, got it all wrong. All I could say is that I wanted it natural looking and not just straight across in the back. My mother, who easily lost patience with me; and seldom understood me, told the hairdresser, exasperation dripping in her voice, "Okay, cut it very uneven and we'll see if she likes it." The hairdresser balked, but my mother was adamant. It was horrible, but I was too stubborn to admit it to my mom and told her it was just what I wanted, thank you.

But back to the curly hair....the waves have gotten curlier with the years. Go figure that!!! I wish I had a dollar for every person who said to me, "Oh, I wish I had your hair." "It must be wonderful to have such curly hair!" "Why do you ever wear it straight?" Well, these same people do not know that curly hair has a mind of its own. On days that my hair is feeling particularly generous towards me; yes, it will fall in a wonderful cascade of curls. On days that my hair is feeling somewhat persnickedy (which is more often), it will choose to do "it's own thing." "It's own thing" can be anything from making me look like a bushman (sorry, Bruce), to curling on one side/falling straight on the other, to looking great with two or three errant locks that persist in sticking out at odd angles. And that's not even taking into account when humidity hits and it just grows bigger and bigger. They could make a movie, "The Hair That Took Over Salt Lake City."

What can I say? Oct. 13th seemed like a good day to whine...do you think Christopher Columbus whined?

4 comments:

Patrick said...

Joey,
You'll never be without reading glasses if you keep i4ulenses in your wallet. Check www.i4ulenses.com

gilian said...

Yes, missy, I totally understand your distress. I wore glasses into my teens when in one of the few acts of rebellion of my youth, I announced that if I couldn't get contacts, I would no longer need glasses. And that held true until the last few years when my far vision began fading, until now I cannot see anything beyond the ends of my outstretched fingertips. And to make it even better, my near vision is now failing as well so that my beloved new, lightweight, small-screened computer has to be within a foot of my face for me to be able to use it without developing one of those eye-squinting headaches.

And yes, I too have random zits--in my wrinkles! GAAAAA.

The hair? Mine was straight, bone straight, still bone straight, so my options are really,really short for the lil' rascals cowlick look or permed for that great 80's big hair that everybody wants now. And now--With! 40%! more! grey! for! the! same! low! price!!!

I am now going for the Jamie Lee Curtis look--no, not the body for I have no money or desire for surgery, but I'm all over the hair--uncolored, untouched, unhighlighted (artificially anyway). Yep, I'm in the I love my short salt & pepper hair; and I'm making real effort to become comfortable in this body with its zitty-wrinkles and its still beautiful green eyes that are good to look at but not so good to look with.

By the way, I've seen you lately. You are beautiful.

Brooke said...

We always want what we don't have. "By rule, man's a fool"
I have curly hair as well. I would also be very rich if I had a dollar for every time someone told me they wished for my hair. But now I straighten it most of the time. And while I love it straightened, I don't get the compliments like I used to. Kind of funny how that works....

Skybird said...

I was surprised I hadn't left a comment here, because I really did read this last time I was here!

I loved the Bushman reference!

My daughter wishes she didn't have my hair! It is a grease trap, and a shower a day is the only way I can keep it anywhere near decent. But I don't think I'd look too good with the current male rage with baldness! Yes, it is much simpler to care for...

But I hate razors!