Where's The Remote?

Let me begin by saying that I believe that Time is a gift from God. Whether it is our time here on earth, time to learn and change, or precious, precious time spent with loved ones; Time is a gift.

I had an experience years ago, when I was a stay-at-home mom, that taught me a lot. I was sitting in my bedroom and the kids were in school. I said, out loud (mind you, I don't know why I say things out loud when no one is there...), "I think I will waste some time." Suddenly I was impressed with a room full of spirits that had passed on and they were dismayed at the thought of me wasting time they wished desperately they had back. I am ashamed to say, I still wasted the time. Nevertheless...

That's not the point. I believe that we shall account for how we spend our time. I'm okay with that. I really am. But my hope is that I shall get an accounting back. I would like to know how much time in my 50 1/2+ years so far I have spent:

1) In waiting rooms. I figure that between six kids (dentist, doctor, whatever), the time when I was a little girl and had to go to the doctor a lot, obstretician appointments, etc., that I have spent "mucho, mucho" time in waiting rooms. I just want to know how much. And I have progressed from spending the time reading "Highlights" to "People" to "Ladies Home Journal" to "Time" and "Newsweek" back to "Highlights" again. I always loved "Goofus and Galant" and those "Find in this Picture" things.

2) Waiting for policemen to write up the speeding ticket he just pulled me over for. Luckily, the one the other day was quite quick. I think they are really making these speedtraps efficient. But don't you really, and I mean really, hate it when you are sitting there by the side of the road, the policeman's lights are flashing, and everyone who normally would be speeding has slowed down to look over at you as they crawl by, with a smirk on their faces because they know you got a ticket, nyah, nyah, nyah?

3) Looking for things like the remote. Or keys. Or reading glasses. I mean, really! Last summer Niel's boys lost the remote for days; days, I kid you not! My house is so small. There's only so many places a remote can go. How on earth can things like that ellude us for so long? And don't you hate how when you are looking for it, you realize that the area under your couch cushions has not been cleaned for a while? And these days it's not like you only have to look for a tv remote. There are dvd remotes, old VHS remotes, etc. And half of the bells and whistles on our tv won't work without a remote, so the old "Get up and change the channel" doesn't really fly. Why, sonny, back in my day we adjusted the volume by hand and the responsibility to change channels was given to the one lying on the carpet closest to the tv.

In a perfect world, you would never have to waste time looking for the remote.