Tradition!

In the play "Fiddler on the Roof" Tevya, the main character, sings a wonderful song about traditions and ends with "Because of our traditions every one of us knows who he is and what God expects him to do....Traditions, traditions. Without our traditions, our lives would be as shaky as... as... as a fiddler on the roof!"

For many years, really unnaturally so, my little family remained intact and our holiday traditions were an anchor. They were as dependable as the sun coming up in the East. We knew what Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years would bring because it was all in my control.

That was before the first earthquake hit with marriage #1, then marriage #2, #3, followed by #4, #5. And there are still a few more to come. With each marriage, new schedules had to be considered and traditions and expectations from the past jettisoned to make way for others expectations to be met and other traditions to be honored. I have scrambled, trying to batten down hatches, bailing water out the back while a wave of tsunami's rocked my boat from the front.

Perhaps the reason for my "Grinchy" attitude this holiday season is that there is so little left of my little family's traditions that I no longer recognize the new events around me as "holiday." It hasn't felt like Christmas because there has been nothing that I could count on to "feel" like Christmas.

So it is with great happiness and satisfaction that I can recount that "Tradition!" lives on in my children. Each of my married children gave me a gift without even knowing it.

Sarah mentioned that she bought a stuffed animal (a bee pillow pet) to leave on Pete's pillow the morning of Christmas Eve. She didn't even know why that tradition had started in our family, but is carrying it on because she loved the magic of that one new toy to keep her busy the day before Christmas when the plethora came.

Clayton called me to ask the addresses of the homes we'd driven past to see Christmas lights. Turns out that Kim and he plan to keep that tradition alive, as well as new pajamas on Christmas Eve.

Laurie told me that she and Clint had some of Grandma Salazar's crab dip and Grandpa Mackay's South Cottonwood Carrots because that taste of home when she's so far away out in Ohio made it seem like the holidays to her. She splurged on a resident's salary to bring traditions into her home that even went back further than me. (For further information see: http://familyfoodiefun.blogspot.com/ )

Maddie told me with wonder in her eyes that Santa had come and eaten the cookies she and her family put out on Christmas Eve.

As I write this, it brings tears to my eyes. Perhaps my efforts all of those years were not wasted. Even though I have had to see the death of my traditions and Christmas didn't feel like Christmas to me, those traditions live on in my children. If they continue to bring them and their families happiness, then my work has been well done after all. Perhaps the anchors have just moved to hold down other ships.

Thank you Sarah, Clayton, Laurie and Nephi for giving me this gift. Now if I can only find ways to keep something around of the past for Sean and Emily, I will have succeeded after all.